I decided rather than continue my “Who is Graham Commander” which turned out way long enough, I would do my testimony separate

It is my hope my testimony may help other Christians, to trust in the Lord who is patient

Years before I got married, my lust addiction had already a tight firm grip over me, far stronger than I realised, as even when I wasn’t watching free porn my mind was so saturated with images from other days

I found it hard to clear my mind enough to focus on anything else, as for when I was lustfully looking at porn videos, even while one was playing, I was looking to the side at previews of other videos, enough was never enough

I had conveniently put my marriage vows to one side, so I could freely indulge in my lustful desires

This continued for far too many years until hackers sent emails threatening to expose my lustful activities, along with atheists with negative comments on Christian videos

Yes, even though I was addicted to porn, I still used to watch mostly Christian music videos, but always read through the comments

Having found so many atheist comments, I decided to explore atheist video channels, which lead me into even darker places

As they gave so what convincing reasons not to believe when believing was my only hope lifeline of freedom.

It wasn’t until I could no longer bear the heavy burden of shame and the overpowering control of the addiction.

I bent down my knees in desperate prayer, “Lord have mercy for I am a sinner in need of forgiveness and freedom from my sexual sin addiction

I surrender even my free will, as I’m unable to control myself, and just abuse my free will to indulge

Praise God, He heard and answered my prayer, He forgave me and freed me from the tangled mess I had allowed myself into

The blessed peace and joy and love that came with my new heart. “Thank you, Lord, I never want to go back into that dark place ever again”

For the first time in too many years, I began to be able to love my wife as I should and with the help of God’s Holy Spirit cleansing me daily and teaching me how to Love God first