Forgiveness

Idle Hands

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“The Devil finds work for idle hands to do”

A well-known phrase featured in Proverbs 16:27

It seems the enemy knows our weaknesses. Mine was consuming lustful video after video

After being freed from that addiction, I promptly sorted out Christian videos

I considered it an improvement for a while, but all too soon, I became just as addicted with the unwelcome help of Google Analytics

Along with Facebook Feed, video recommendations are selected, ranked and delivered to you by an AI system

Between the two powerful platforms, I now realise I have fallen for the enemy trap of false work, which has distracted me from writing posts and reading the Bible every day

I therefore ask for prayers, as I will ask for forgiveness

That I will regain control of the use of my time for the glory of my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ

Praise the Name of Jesus

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Thou have created all things and for your pleasure, they are created

Psalm 18:2 The Lord is my rock, and my fortress and my deliverer. My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Praise the name of Jesus

He’s my rock, He’s my fortress

He’s my deliverer

I will sing His praises for Jesus is worthy of praise

He was patient with me while I stubbornly clung to my increasing sinful nature

Jesus forgave me of all my sins as a gift even though I didn’t deserve His forgiveness

Jesus also freed me of my sexual addiction, freeing my mind and giving me a new heart

So that I would begin to desire the things of God and He put a new spirit within me

Teaching me and guiding me even through times of trouble and hardships, He is my comfort and true and faithful friend

When I consider all, He has done for such a sinner as me I can scarcely take in

With the pain, the suffering that He willingly went through I stand amazed in humble adoration

There is no lie that can be told or argument that will shake me from knowing that Jesus is my Lord and He is worth praising every day He gives me breath

My Testimony

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I decided rather than continue my “Who is Graham Commander” which turned out way long enough, I would do my testimony separate

It is my hope my testimony may help other Christians, to trust in the Lord who is patient

Years before I got married, my lust addiction had already a tight firm grip over me, far stronger than I realised, as even when I wasn’t watching free porn my mind was so saturated with images from other days

I found it hard to clear my mind enough to focus on anything else, as for when I was lustfully looking at porn videos, even while one was playing, I was looking to the side at previews of other videos, enough was never enough

I had conveniently put my marriage vows to one side, so I could freely indulge in my lustful desires

This continued for far too many years until hackers sent emails threatening to expose my lustful activities, along with atheists with negative comments on Christian videos

Yes, even though I was addicted to porn, I still used to watch mostly Christian music videos, but always read through the comments

Having found so many atheist comments, I decided to explore atheist video channels, which lead me into even darker places

As they gave so what convincing reasons not to believe when believing was my only hope lifeline of freedom.

It wasn’t until I could no longer bear the heavy burden of shame and the overpowering control of the addiction.

I bent down my knees in desperate prayer, “Lord have mercy for I am a sinner in need of forgiveness and freedom from my sexual sin addiction

I surrender even my free will, as I’m unable to control myself, and just abuse my free will to indulge

Praise God, He heard and answered my prayer, He forgave me and freed me from the tangled mess I had allowed myself into

The blessed peace and joy and love that came with my new heart. “Thank you, Lord, I never want to go back into that dark place ever again”

For the first time in too many years, I began to be able to love my wife as I should and with the help of God’s Holy Spirit cleansing me daily and teaching me how to Love God first