Not by works of righteousness which we did ourselves, but in the measure of His mercy, He gave us salvation, through the washing of the new birth and the giving of new life in the Holy Spirit

Since the time is speeding along toward Christmas and the end of this year 2019

I began to ponder about just how much Jesus has done for me, not only renewing me but also continuing to support me through addiction

I am unsure how long ago it was when “I surrender all” including my “free will” to Him as I often failed to control my desires

Only then did I begin to know the wonderful experience of peace and freedom He has given me and the ongoing support even when the old self stirs into rekindled flames fanned by the Whisperer

I know that I never want to allow myself back into that dark place of self-indulgence, for it was rotting my mind and stifling my creative thoughts

Along with dragging me further away from Jesus, my first love (not in a sexual or normal human way) but in a spiritual sense

From my youth school days, I loved hearing the stories about Jesus and He became so real I could visualise Him in my mind’s eye

Even years later when I heard the words He spoke I knew His voice and never doubted Him

As many of you may know our rebellious nature can distract us and vanity will lead us astray, so it was in my life, but Praise the Lord for He is a caring Shepard who searches for His lost sheep, such as me